I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Meeting you, our lust, this baby, our unfulfilled dreams of growth and progress... it all has a purpose in my life. The blade cuts, the fire burns, and then there is the sweet release of death that follows. Death allows for new beginnings, and for this I am grateful... but I still feel the sting of the cuts and the heat of the fire. I refuse to feel guilty for the grave that you have dug for yourself. I will carry on, carrying this child inside of me, and I will always be victorious. No amount of lust or love will convince me to allow myself to be buried in that hole with you. I feel pity for you, that you were completely unable to grow and heal so that we could both move on together. Your darkness is too deep, and you are so lost inside of it that you are blind to my light. There is sadness and mourning in this, naturally. I gave a lot of myself to you... but there is also a relief that I can let go and be free from you and everything inside of me that reflects who you are. There are parts inside of me that are like you, but meeting you and going through this with you has allowed me to see them and let them catch fire in my eyes while I cut the cord that binds us together. Then there is nothing but the comforting abyss of death that remains. Regardless of what you choose to do with yourself now, I will rise up out of the ashes like the glorious pheonix that I have always been. Nothing can hold me back. I will never give into the darkness in me that is mirrored in the clear blue pools of your eyes. After everything that I have fought so hard to overcome within myself, I will never allow myself to go back to that place with those fools that destroy their minds and hearts for a fleeting moment of synthetic bliss. I am more than all of this. I always have been, but the flames and the swords have set me free from the darkness, and now I can allow that part of me to die. I am free, and I as I soar through the sky, I may let out an agonizing cry of mourning... but know that this too, is also a cry of victory. For I will no longer allow fear and desperation to rule over my heart and mind. I will face what is, and what is to come with the strength of a warrior queen that never surrenders. So my mourning song, is also my battle cry. Hear me roar from a distance, because what need does a queen have for a page? I have no need or desire to be brought down to your level, and I am done playing in the dirt with you. Carry on sweet, tortured page, for only in solitude will you find your release from the bonds that hold you down. There is no more that I can do for you. Only you can save, or destroy yourself. All I ask is that you do it elsewhere, I have no need to watch you bury yourself in your own shit. May you find true peace within your heart, without stealing mine.
Here is where I am, and I am where it's at.
- Blades, fire, and death.